I can be hard on myself.
Often times in my pursuit of Jesus, I let my humility turn into self-deprecation.
I cut myself off from grace by being so hard on myself, and making my faith all about obtaining perfection instead of obtaining intimacy with my Jesus.
Especially now that I work in Ministry and my job is the conversion of souls, I need to remind myself every single day that God has a specific purpose for me in this world.
In the past few months, I’ve been doing so by incorporating daily Mass and Adoration into my schedule. Those who frequent daily mass, knock my socks off. They are so holy and so open with their faith. Seeing my older and wiser brothers and sisters in Christ, proclaiming His name and praying so fearlessly, inspire me so much.
However, sometimes when I watch my fellow daily Mass goers, celebrate our Lord, I feel insufficient. I know I should be paying attention to Jesus and not the people around me, but I’m a human, what can I say? I see these beautiful men and women, so devoted to Jesus, and I automatically feel like I’m not good enough.
This morning, was one of those mornings where I was feeling especially insecure. I was tired and I had a really hard time praying the rosary. “You’re such a joke,” is what I kept saying to myself.
But what God revealed to me in the scriptures today, was that each and everyone of us are called to take part in the mission of converting souls back to Jesus, and are invited to sit with Him at the table.
Mass is a foretaste of the Heavenly feast that awaits us, and reminds us that Jesus is calling us all to take part in the Eucharist and remain in His love. As I went up to receive my sweet Jesus, I watched my brothers and sisters receive Him too. It warmed my heart to watch them encounter Our Lord. As I looked at each person, I imagined what gifts and talents they bring to the Body of Christ, and I wondered how Jesus would use them to bring about grace and peace into this broken world.
We’re all called to take a seat at the table and be one family in Christ Jesus. We’re all different in personality, talent, and temperament, yet Jesus has a unique plan for each of us to reveal His love to the world. Often times, we let the success and good fortune of others detract from our own self worth or deter us from taking our seat at the table. However, we’re all needed, we’re all necessary, we’re all important to God’s incredible plan to bring about Salvation to the world.
The Lord will give him a seat with the leaders of his people