I’m almost 2 months into my job, and so far it has been great. I’ve felt so moved and so blessed to be able to tell people “I love my job! I love what I do!” How can I not though? My job is to create events for youth so that they can encounter Christ the Lord? Can’t get any better than that!
However, my job is like any other job in the sense that there are ups & downs. Like everything in life, there are good times and tough times. This Monday marked the beginning as an indefinite season of uncertainty for our youth ministry department. Our director was just asked to take a position at the Diocese, and start this position effective immediately.
Despite the fact that I am so pumped for my director, and her new call by the Bishop, the last few days have been filled with stress and confusion. Where do we go as a department? Who will replace our director? Who will fill the other vacant positions we have? These questions are swirling around in my mind, and the minds of my colleagues. As of now, we’ve been told limited information and that we will get more information this coming Monday.
To be honest I’m struggling. I’m struggling because I want answers now. All I can see are problems in front of me, and I cannot wait till Monday to get to the bottom of all these answers. So Jesus’ words from the Gospel today make me a tad bit salty, because I don’t want to wait. I want to know everything right now! As in this very moment!!
“I have much more to tell you, but you cannot bear it now.
But when he comes, the Spirit of truth,
he will guide you to all truth.”
As I read and reflect on these words, I know with great certainty, that the Lord is calling me to remain in His love and trust in His plan. Despite my great desire to know what is to come, the Spirit has made me aware of the fact that even if I knew all the information I desired, my life is still not my own and I am not in control. Although knowing everything that is to come would be nice, this knowledge would only provide me a false sense of security.
At the end of the day it is God who is in control. As it says in the first reading from the Act of the Apostles “it is he who gives to everyone life and breath and everything. He made from one the whole human race to dwell on the entire surface of the earth, and he fixed the ordered seasons and the boundaries of their regions, so that people might seek God, even perhaps grope for him and find him, though indeed he is not far from any one of us.”
Although my heart and the hearts of those I work with, are discontented and feeling lost without a director, we have hope. We have hope because we know that insomuch that we recognize our lack of control and power, we are able to give God all the control and all the power over our lives and circumstances. Although this is a tough time, the nature of my work does not change and my Lord does not change. Through this trial, as in all trials we face, God is inviting us to remain in His love and let Him be in control