The words of the Apostle Phillip are words I have voiced so many times throughout my life. From early childhood to young adulthood, no matter how mature I am in my faith, there is always a little voice inside of me that speaks the same words that Phillip spoke to Jesus:
“Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.”
It does not matter how many times Jesus pulls me out of the pits of despair, and saves me from whatever horrible sin attempting to steal my soul. There is always a part of me that wants a sign, because in my mind if I just had a sign everything else would be easier. I wouldn’t have to wonder. I wouldn’t have to do anything because that sign would be there.
But the reality is, the constant need for signs and reassurance is not the foundation of a steady and lifelong relationship. In my own relationships, friendships and romantic relationships alike, I know a good relationship requires mutual trust. Without trust and without complete confidence in the character and intentions of one another, you cannot have a stable and life giving relationship. The same can be said with Jesus. At some point, we have to look at ourselves and ask, what more could we possibly want from Him?
He has already given us a sign. . . actually He’s given us MANY signs. The Resurrection, the Eucharist (I could really stop with just these two), Peter and the other apostles healing the sick & driving out demons, the lives of the saints, Marian Apparitions, Eucharistic Miracles. . . The list goes on and on.
When I think about all the miracles and signs Our Lord has given us throughout the history of the Church, I cannot help but ask myself “at what point are you going to stop questioning, and just believe?” Jesus’ response to Phillip reflects the intimacy and relationship they share. Jesus is not soft and sweet. He doesn’t have a sugar coated response. He is firm and clear. When I read His reply, I can imagine the frustration and hurt Jesus must’ve felt, as His friend doubts His character and intention. He says to Phillip:
“Have I been with you for so long a time
and you still do not know me, Philip?
I ask this same question to myself and to you my brothers and sisters. At what point will our faith and love for Jesus be bigger than our desire for control? At what point will we realize that Jesus doesn’t doubt us, so why should we doubt Him? At what point will be desire a lifelong relationship built on trust, rather than a momentary spiritual high?
Our God is the same. Our unstoppable and never failing God, is the same God He was yesterday, 2000 years ago, and 2,000,000,000 years ago. He’ll be the same God today, tomorrow, and every day that comes after that. We can rest easy in His love, and know that His love never fails and never will fail. We don’t need signs to deepen our faith in Him. We deepen our faith in our Lord by submitting ourselves to His will and remaining in His infinite love.